The Dapper Dad

I actually like going shopping. Most guys hate it and I get it. So let me restate that phrase to say that I like going shopping for myself not so much with others – especially women. I will certainly get my fair share of complaints that I am stereotyping, but in this case my statement comes from years of personally observing this behavioral pattern.

Here is the difference between how I shop and, hypothetically speaking, my wife and most women I know shop. I will walk into a store and if I know what I am looking for go straight to where it is grab my size, shape, weight, length, whatever and try it on, check if it works, looks like the photo, etc. (check that it is in good shape – yes I am totally uptight when it comes to new products) and off to pay for it I go. If, instead, I am not looking for anything in particular, I will look around and if I see something that interests me I will do one of two things: the above mentioned routine or make a mental note to research said object later to make sure it is unique, dependable, available in different models, best price etc. What I do not do is meander the store and stare at a particular item for hours wondering what it would look like, feel like, fit like etc. then pull one of each color, style, size, etc. and head to the changing room to emerge three hours later. So what I always wonder out loud is why so many stores do not have comfortable “man chairs”?

You guys know what I am talking about. Usually, you are lucky if there is a little ledge or bench in the store to lean on while you wait (and God forbid you don’t have something to read or to entertain you). It really is not that hard to give us guys our own little “kiddie corner” so we do not have to stand there fidgeting while our significant others try on the entire store (especially if the ladies are in a group). So here are my three top choices for in-store Man Chairs to help out the architects when they are building the space.

Poltrona Frau’s Vanity Fair. This Italian designed leather beauty is the iconic Club Chair and has been around since the 1930s. Large armrests and padded back allows you to sit comfortably and, why not, catch some shut eye while the ladies wreak havoc in the dressing room.

The Eames Lounge and Ottoman. This lounge chair is one of the most recognized chairs in the world. Designed and developed over many years by Charles and Ray Eames, it was produced by in 1956 by the Herman Miller furniture company. If the stores would give you complimentary slippers and a paper I think you would never want to get up out of this chair.

A Hammock. I realize this is a bit of a stretch, but imagine the comfort of lying in a hammock. The store could serve drinks or you could simply lie there swaying gently and fall into a blissfully deep slumber.

It may be necessary to start a petition to present to major retailers to head our calls for such pampering. I figure if we are holding the purse or manning the stroller while the ladies shop, we might as well do so in comfort. In the end we end up not caring how long they stay in the dressing rooms and it’s a win-win for the retailer. The only other condition that must be met for the dads is a nanny and fully stocked toy chest to keep the kids entertained while you doze off. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

When I was growing up, in large part thanks to my father’s love affair and work with Hollywood, we always watched the masters Fellini, Hitchcock, Welles, Rossellini, Hawks, Capra and the duos Bogart and Bacall, and Tracy and Hepburn and of course Grant, Stewart, Mastroianni, Gable, Cooper, Brando, McQueen and so many other great directors and actors from years ago – yet immortal.

One thing that I always loved about these movies was the impeccable style of the men and women from that era. In particular, I was obsessed with the men’s driving caps and fedoras (with their endless variations). Unfortunately, when I was younger, these hats were disdained and considered by many either as pretentious, eccentric or for old men until a recent resurgence brought their popularity back, albeit often revisited in a more “modern” key. So it’s actually “cool” to wear a hat, again. We’ll have to see how long that lasts.

And yet, fashionistas everywhere like to say that you have to be able to “pull it off”, by which I think they mean that you have to be a celebrity with a stylist. Really? Hats have been around forever and there is nothing to “pull off”. I’ll grant you that each of us will look “sharper” in one style or the other and there are more or less appropriate models for different circumstances (City Slickers in Stetsons – you know what I’m talking about), but let’s not forget that, at least for us guys, it’s also a great way to keep your head cool when the sun beats down, keep the rain off when you’re caught in a sudden downpour and keep your head warm when it is cold. It’s not just an accessory for show – although the current trend makes that hard to believe.

I doubt the hat will again become a de facto part of a man’s basic wardrobe anytime soon (I am not including the baseball cap which does have its time and place, but is too often an appendage on many a man’s head these days – even the post-college guys). The renewed interest, though, is a stay of execution for an industry that is certainly at risk.

Sadly, there are few original makers anymore (like the above mentioned Stetson – maker since 1865 of the iconic “Ten Gallon” or “Cowboy hat”, but not only) and although some of the larger retailers are bringing out some classic models, like J.Crew, as well as specialty hat stores like Hats in the Belfry which have their own line of fedoras and La Coppolla Storta which makes the iconic Sicilian Coppolla (aka flat or driving cap), it is still not something you see men wearing everyday.

There is one historic brand that given my strong Italian heritage I want to mention as a go-to name, in case I have made my case and convinced you to add a hat to your daily routine. Borsalino has been making hats in Alessandria, Italy since 1857 and they have some of the classics. If you happen to be in New York drop by their States-side headquarters just a few blocks to the South of the Empire State Building on Fifth Avenue.

Next time you walk by a hat rack stop and give one or two a try. There are so many different styles and yours is just waiting to be found. To those of you who have already found yours – Chapeau!

I have come to appreciate Weleda products over the course of the last couple of years because I have used them to bathe my son and to take care of any and all of his rashes that have appeared from time to time. I know my wife also uses their creams, but not being a big fan of creams and moisturizers (I have never found one that did remain greasy) I never really thought about using Weleda products myself.

While I was picking up some diaper cream a while ago, I noticed that there was a tube of Weleda Shaving Cream nearby and was surprised because I thought they only did baby and skin care products like body creams. I probably would not have given it a second thought, since I have my favorites already, and Weleda just does not show up on the shaving radar, but I was curious.

It has been two weeks since I started to use Weleda’s Shaving Cream, After-shave Balm and Smooth Shave Toner and my face has been very satisfied with the experience. I did not doubt they had great products because of the positive experience with my son, but I just assumed that they would not have the same know-how as companies that specialize in shaving products (then again some that make that claim make utter garbage).

The Weleda Shaving Cream has overtaken a few of my favorite soaps and creams after this brief, yet passionate, two-week relationship. I love discovering a great new shaving cream to add to my personal barbershop. I tried different brushes and different amounts to see what fit my routine best. The scent is subtle and has a pleasant herbal (not medicinal) smell that is a nice break from the many musky and leathery soaps and creams available that are often quite overpowering. The lather with a brush is nice and thick. I also tired it without a brush and it lathers just as well. The safety razor’s head glides effortlessly without losing its weight as it shaves. Many creams either create a layer of slime that is almost impenetrable or are so thin that razor burn is inevitable. Weleda’s Shaving Cream is one of the best I have tried at striking the balance between glide and close shave. An added bonus for frequent flyers is the 2.5oz tube it is packaged in that makes it travel ready for carry-ons so you can just pack it without needing a measuring cup.

I alternated using the Weleda After-shave Balm and the Smooth Shave Toner to see which I liked best, although I already had a biased for balms going into this comparison. Not surprisingly, I preferred the after-shave balm. I never liked the “astringent” after-shaves because they always give me that Home Alone Macaulay Culkin meets Munch’s Scream face when I slap them on. In its defense, the Weleda Smooth Shave Toner does not have that shocking sting that many astringent and antiseptic after-shaves have and it has a brief and pleasant citrus zest and spice smell to it that gives your state of early morning grogginess a bit of a jolt before fading. In fact, the balm is exactly what I am looking for in an after-shave. Non-greasy, soothing, quickly absorbed and, just as with the toner, after an initial whiff of citrus and spice it’s gone.

Weleda did not let me down. Just as it performs for my son it has done a great job with my shaving routine and I am going to add it to the rotation. Grab some shaving cream and balm next time you reach for some Weleda diaper cream for your baby and let me know what you think. I was certainly impressed.

I have a sizable collection of pens. Mainly fountain pens, but there are ballpoint and roller ball pens with which I enjoy writing. With so much of our daily routine (work and play) dominated by computers and multimedia gadgets and gizmos, we almost never use pen and paper unless it’s to leave a quick note or a Post-It. Despite my own love of all things electronic, I still find myself using pen and paper everyday because it is such an enjoyable experience. You can read more about my love of pen and paper by going to Verba Volant Scripta Manent because what I wanted to write about here is the discovery of a pen that has been around for a while, but that I was always skeptical about adding to my collection. I am talking about Monteverde USA’s Mega Ink Ball.

A cross between a fountain pen and a roller ball, this pen is quite unique. I was worried about the ink flow given the differences in the inks that are found in fountain pens versus roller balls and I wondered if the angle at which you held the Mega Ink Ball would make a difference when writing. I got it all prepped and filled with ink and took it to work to put it through the rigors of my vigorous scrawl and exaggerated note taking. I have not put it down since that first day. I am struck by how smooth it is and by how the ink settles just as it does with a fountain pen. The only friendly warning is to test one out at a local store because it is larger than most pens you may be used to and you want to make sure you like how it fits and feels in your hand while writing. With Father’s Day around the corner, I would put this on your wish list if you are looking for something different. There is nothing quite like putting pen to paper – even as today it becomes more and more a luxury.

When it comes to the birds and the bees, their mating rituals usually entail the boys trying to attract the girls. This is done for the most part using elaborate dances, spectacular colors, beautiful songs and other means to “look good” for the ladies. One of the exceptions to this natural selection process is the male of the homo sapiens. Go to the epicenter of any town or city’s nightlife and you will notice in most cases that the opposite is true when it comes to men and women. The women arrive all a flutter in their high heels, cocktail dresses, silk stocking, impeccable hair and perfect makeup. The men look like they have just woken up from last night’s fraternity initiation: sweat stained baseball cap (reversed), t-shirt from the hamper, jeans (or khakis if they feel like “dressing up”), braided leather belt from the early 90s and running sneakers or flip flops. Why?
I ask simply because it is incomprehensible to me that when you are out on the town (whether married or single) you would not want to tidy up a bit? All too often, the only guys I see in a suit and tie are the ones who have just left the office and headed straight to the bar or restaurant, but who, I am sure, would rather blend in with the rest of the cave men. The women, I will admit, overdo it a tad, in most cases, especially when they are heading to the local pub for an early bird wings and pitchers special – the dress certainly does not fit the occasion. Can we not find a compromise in which we do not have to see the Beauty making small talk with the Beast in real life?
We are talking about interacting with the fairer sex and despite advances in women’s equality and what not, you still should open the door for them even if she is smarter than you. This applies also to making yourself presentable when meeting her at a bar or taking her out to dinner whether or not you are married and no matter what your intentions are for that evening’s finale.
This means that you take a shower, shave and/or trim your facial hair, dab on some good Cologne (some – don’t shower with it), put on a pressed shirt or Lacoste, slip on a pair of proper dress pants (khakis do not count – they are for Navy officers) or neat jeans, maybe a jacket, a simple belt with a plain buckle and a pair of shoes to match. I will assume that you are not colorblind and can therefore properly assemble these things without looking like a zebra or a peacock.
You should be respectful first and foremost to yourself as a man and, of course, to the women you want to talk to or your soul mate for whom you should always look your best, regardless of the occasion.
I urge you to consider this the next time you are about to grab those soiled boxers from the top of the pre-wash load as you get ready to go out for a drink or dinner. It takes the same amount of time to get dressed smartly as it does to dress like a slob. Always remember that women notice these things – forever.